A Dying Mother's Words: Be Like Paul Newman

This is a long one, so I promise to highlight the segments that are worth reading. First, I'll share Lucy's first paragraph as-is. BUT then I'll have to share it again with my commentary - it's just THAT good! Really - you'll want to read this one. I promise you'll pee your pants!

First thing's first, though. Just to get this out of the way - I sympathize with Lucy for the death of her mother. Not that I know what it feels like, but if the death of my grandmother is any indication, I'm sure I'll be nuts when my mother goes. Having said that, we'll move on to the hysterics... Hang onto your diapers...

11/05/2008 To: 2008 Weekly Message:
First paragraph:
Last Saturday evening when I wrote my personal journal, it was so clear, crystal clear, that a chapter of my life has closed, and a new one is unfolding. When I heard the news that Paul Newman passed away at his home at age 83, I knew for certain that my parents' generation was behind me and now it is up to me to step into the "elder" generation for my family. My mother adored and admired Paul Newman, not just his good look, his craft as an actor, but his character, his compassion, generosity and humanity. She never met him, never heard him in his interviews (because my mother knew very little English), but she read and she knew Paul was a star, not just a Hollywood star, but a star to shine the way for all of us to see and follow. My mother's last words to me were "be a guiding light and always be of service to others, like Paul Newman."

Now, remember, this is my boss Lucy's weekly inspirational email to the team. But she sends this shit to the customer too, because she thinks she has something to teach them as well.

Here it is, the first paragraph again, in case you missed it. My commentary in red italics:
Last Saturday evening when I wrote my personal journal, it was so clear, crystal clear, that a chapter of my life has closed, and a new one is unfolding. Violins cued...AND...When I heard the news that Paul Newman passed away wait. what? Paul Newman? at his home at age 83, I knew for certain that my parents' generation was behind me and now it is up to me to step into the "elder" generation for my family. My mother adored and admired Paul Newman, not just his good look, his craft as an actor, but his character, his compassion, generosity and humanity. She never met him, never heard him in his interviews (because my mother knew very little English STOP. Let's pause here for a second. Her mother is a little old Chinese lady who did not know English, YET she knew who Paul Newman was. I can't WAIT to see where this is going!), but she read and she knew Paul Of course. They're on a first name basis. Surprised? was a star, not just a Hollywood star, but a star to shine the way for all of us to see and follow. I'm sorry, what? The little old Chinese lady who didn't know English just knew by ...what?...scent...6th sense..what? that Paul Newman was a man to follow? Follow how? Follow like Jesus? Follow like John Lennon? Follow how? My mother's last words to me Can't you picture this? "Lucy! Cough! Cough! Come closer. I have something veeery important to tell you with my dying breathe! Come, Lucy! Cough!" were "be a guiding light and always be of service to others, like Paul Newman." "Cough! Cough! Lucy! I am your father!... eeeerm, I mean....be like PAUL NEWMAN! Cough! Sputter!"

Is she fucking serious?!? Be like PAUL NEWMAN???? Her mother used her dying words to advise her to be like PAUL NEWMAN???? Her dying little old Chinese lady mother who couldn't speak English chose PAUL NEWMAN as her DYING WORDS??? Does she think we're stupid?

Ugh!!!! Whatever.

The rest isn't even worth reading. But, if you must, here it is... Straight from the Jackass' mouth.... my boss.... LUCY.

Many of you already heard the announcement that I am transitioning to a new role as the Growth Markets Business Development Director on the blah blah Integrated Account team. My primary focus there will be to learn about blahblah's business and IT strategy in Asia, and how to align blehbleh's capabilities, offerings and investments to grow with blahblah in Asia. In the first year, I will travel back-and-forth to build the relationship (global and regional), define the opportunity in the growth markets, what is the architecture, where is it based, and how blehbleh positioned to help them. I am looking forward for this opportunity that bloop and bleep created for me. I am extremely grateful. At the same time, I will always carry blurp in my heart. After associated with it so intimately for 9 years, it means a great deal to me, especially the people I work with day-in-and-day-out, so many have become my good friends.

9 years is a long time. Having a long-term relationship is very precious. Not only together we accomplished a great deal, renovated IT Infrastructure at blurp multiple times, cultivated many new opportunities at blurpee, re-established the company-to-company relationship, also individually we all became better professionals, better people, and better collaborators.

Reflecting on the 9 years, I have learned and lived many life lessons while I also produced some of my best works in my career. In this week's message, I will share some of the gifts of the years with you.

Adventure into new responsibility is scary - When we reached beyond our comfort zone, anxious feelings are inevitable. At such times, remember Fear is connected with Joy. We need new experiences to keep our minds fresh. We need new opportunities to feed the creativity of our soul. We need new adventure for our personal growth. Through these experiences, we discover new parts of ourselves. We might just reveal strength, courage, resilience we didn't know we had.

Challenge ourselves and take a risk - One of the biggest roadblocks we face when learning new things is the fear of doing it wrong. So many opportunities come and go because we are afraid to look foolish. Growth requires us to let down our guard and stop having self-doubt. Resolve to take a risk and let us be ourselves and we will succeed.

Reality is something to rise above - Great things are accomplished when we believe that what's inside of us is superior to our circumstances. We may have to dig deep for our courage but it is there. Rise above any fear and doubt that's holding us back. Remind ourself that we are in control, that the time to live is today!

Open our arms to change, but remember do not let go of our values - Facing daily challenges and trying to stay in control with the values we hold dear is not always easy. Values like integrity, loyalty, faith, compassion, courage and a sense of community all work together to give us inner direction and purpose. Values build personal resiliency, which in turns helps us to bounce back from adversity, and embrace new opportunities. Take time to reflect on our values and then go out and put them into action!

Make personal plans - "What do I want to accomplish?" "What will make me happiest?" are difficult questions to answer. What more difficult is cultivating a plan to achieve them. Always make time to decide what really matters. No one can do this for us except ourselves. We are the only one who can cultivate our goals and aspirations, decide how we are going to achieve them and patiently pursue them. If we don't we risk letting others make plans for us. "Our decisions shape our destiny." She must've learned this shit from Paul Newman.


There are hundreds of languages in the world, but a smile speaks them all - A smile can soften hearts and firm up commitments. It can mend friendships and break tensions. It can reassure and give support. It can make memories. It can make the world a better place. I personally like to hug others which give comfort and support.

Let go of resentment - Resentment is like a parasite. Fuck her. Resentment is what lets me sleep at night. It feeds on us and leaves us weakened by its presence. Its only purpose is to take from us. There's simply no room in our life for this negative energy. Focus on what we do have, and concentrate on what could be. Give all the space in our lives for better things.

Finding balance is the key to personal fulfillment - If our life was a symphony, all the different parts of it could be represented by the different sections of the orchestra. All the parts would work together to produce beautiful harmonies. Not one section would conflict with the other. Assess our lives as a whole with complementary parts, rather than broken fragments competing for our time and attention. Live in full awareness of the whole not the parts.

Winning is not everything but wanting to is - Perseverance is the golden key to being successful in anything we do. When we fall, perseverance tells us to get up. When we are defeated, perseverance tells us to try again. When we feel like quitting, perseverance doesn't let us. If at first we don't succeed, try, try, try again. The secret to being a winner is wanting to win. Also any failures that we experience can be transformed into something of worth. The lessons will become stepping stones to the success we seek.

What really touches another's heart are the intangible gifts we give - In the final analysis though, what we accomplished, the awards and accolades we won, would be fleeting. "What We Do" is never as important and lasting as "Who We Are." One of the most treasured gifts is the ability to give ourselves without expecting something in return. Gifts of hearts, such as encouragement, hope, love, a kind word and appreciation, is comparable to nothing else. Our soul becomes filled with a sense of calmness and the burdens of the world seem weightless. My God, she just blathers on and on.

In closing, I want to thank all of you for your encouragement, support, and friendship. As human beings, we were created to be part of a larger community. Belonging to a community brings purpose to our life and feeds us with energy, life and joy. I hope you will continue to fully experience the feeling of synergy that comes from spending time to serve our clients, to support each other in our work, and to make our company we all can be proud of. Over the years, as the DPE, PE and CD for this account team, I experienced the sharing, the mutual commitment and enjoyed the company of like minds and kindred spirts. I fully appreciated how the sum of a community is far greater than its parts. This 9 years working with bleep and with all of you have given me this incredible feeling of community.
I am eternally grateful and I will always treasure the memories as long as I shall live.

So long and farewell ......

Let's keep in touch. Below is my new job title and "same" contact information.

Lucy
Finally: Lucy shuts the fuck up.