How to Get a Job According to Lucy

Lucy thinks that the solution to the lack of jobs for graduates as well as the massive layoffs we're witnessing is for parents to make their children understand that work is a principle, and that we should make sure our contribution is bigger than our reward.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. It didn't make sense to me either.

Red comments are mine, italics are the text that Lucy copy/pasted from elsewhere. Copy of full and comment-free email in grey at the end...

Lucy
01/09/2009 09:59 PM

Today is Saturday. The headline on the special report section in the local (Singapore) newspaper Strait Times is Out of School, Out of Work - FORGET social inequality, crime and violence, the world's biggest fear now is failing to get a job - or losing one.

I think it is very important for me to share the excerpts with you even though I cannot capture the images (pictures) printed on the newspaper. Read on ….

Tokyo – Student Job-Seekers feel the chill in "Ice Age"
**article snipped because life is too short to read every single word that Lucy copy/pastes**
China – Young and Jobless, millions of young job seekers are in for a tough time
**article snipped because honestly, we know what the article is going to say**
Singapore and Malaysia – Fresh grads in for hard times
**article snipped because...well....the truth is, I'm worried about my own job, hence I don't really give a shit about the plight of Malaysians right now**
India – Desperately seeking jobs
**article snipped because fuck India. We just laid off our entire helpdesk staff and gave those jobs to Indians, and they're about to be rewarded with my own job soon, so I just see this article as whining and crying**
Europe – From varsity to dole queue
**article snipped because...you get the idea....**
United States – Young adults losing out
**article snipped.**

I am quite saddened by this special report. But what can we do? Now watch what Lucy does here. She read somewhere once that you should always end a discussion on a positive note, so she reaches way up inside her ass, wiggles her fingers around, desperately looking for something to pull out, and comes up with...There are plenty. I remember in the book Life Matters, the authors shared why Work Matters. Here are the highlights:

"**snip**It is wonderful when children can take a sense of pride in their parents’ work. Yup. This is what she pulls out of her ass. What, you may ask, does this have to do with a lack of work for graduates (nevermind the lack of work for us adults)? Read on. Trust me - you're going to love the connection she makes.

**snip**They need to learn that work is a principle.
BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! Wait, wait! Again:

Let's review:
Lucy copy/pastes a bunch of depressing shit about the world not being able to get work
THEN
Lucy remembers she read something somewhere that has something to do with working
THEN
Lucy decides that the reason graduates can't find work is because...wait for it!.....THEIR PARENTS NEVER TAUGHT THEM THAT WORK IS A PRINCIPLE!!!!! HAHAHA! OHOHO, my stomach hurts. That's just so fantastic how she reaches this conclusion.

There is dignity in it. There is joy.
no, oh no, my sides hurt, please stop!
The reality is that children are happier both now and as adults as they become competent and learn to contribute.
..shit...HAHAhahahAHAHAHAHAHA!!
When we contribute at work, when something happens that makes a difference, when the product or the service of the company improves quality of life for someone, share it! Talk about it. Celebrate it. ..
ha. ha. ahem.

And now, for Lucy's grand final conclusion:
Let’s be mindful that work is a principle and especially in this troubled time of our life history, "Always make our contribution bigger than our reward."

That's right, ladies and gentlmen. If we always make our contribution bigger than our reward, then all graduates will find jobs! Brilliant!

Lucy

============================================

As always, here is Lucy's original email in its entirety, as proof that I am not editing for a laugh. The italics are those sections of text that she had copy and pasted from elsewhere. The fact that all but a few lines are copy/pasted makes me wonder if she even read what she was pasting.

So without further ado, and if you have a spare hour to read crap, here's Lucy's email...

Lucy 01/09/2009 09:59 PM
Today is Saturday. The headline on the special report section in the local (Singapore) newspaper Strait Times is Out of School, Out of Work - FORGET social inequality, crime and violence, the world's biggest fear now is failing to get a job - or losing one.

I think it is very important for me to share the excerpts with you even though I cannot capture the images (pictures) printed on the newspaper. Read on ….

Tokyo – Student Job-Seekers feel the chill in "Ice Age"
At a job fair in Tokyo, fresh graduates scour advertisements for their dream jobs – an increasingly rare find as the global financial crisis hits Japan. Like millions of young job seekers around the world, who are hardest hit by hiring freezes and layoffs, they are in for a long hunt. 22% of firms plan to hire fewer graduates next year than this year. Big hirers say they plan to cut openings for graduates – for the first time in five years.
85,000 non-regular workers expected to lose their jobs between last October and March this year.

Government mulling over plan to reveal names of firms that have withdrawn job offers to college students, a legal breach of contract. Farm ministry offering openings at farms for unemployed people and a number of municipal governments, including Tokyo, offering help for jobless people. China – Young and Jobless, millions of young job seekers are in for a tough time

Thousands thronging a job fair in Xiamen last December. More than six million fresh graduates will enter the labor market this year. College fee refunds for taking rural jobs.

• 6.1 million fresh graduates due to join labor market this year.
• 1.5 million graduates from last year’s batch of 5.6 million still unemployed.
• 9% unemployment rate for new graduates.
• 1,500 Yuan (S$325) starting pay of fresh graduates has stagnated in the last five years.
• One in 10 college students willing to work for free for a few months just to get a job.
  Others eager to work as nannies or domestic helpers.
• Government gives full refund of tuition fees for graduates who find jobs in remote parts of China.
• Government making preferential tax and loan policies for graduates who start businesses.

Singapore and Malaysia – Fresh grads in for hard times

With the number of job vacancies shrinking, those under 30 are finding it tough. The 4.1% unemployment rate of this group is the highest among all age groups.
17,300 jobless people under 30 form 31% of the 55,800 out-of-work Singaporeans and number will grow.

• 4.1% unemployment rate for under 30s is the highest among all age group.
• 145,000 new graduates and diploma-holders compete for jobs each year in Malaysia.
• 25,000 graduates estimated to lack technical and soft skills.
• 4.5% unemployment rate expected this year, up from 3.5 last year.
• 4,700 workers or more expected to be laid off in next three months.
• RM70 million fund set up to retrain unemployed graduates

India – Desperately seeking jobs

One of the thousands of unemployed migrant workers from north India who have gone to Mumbai in search of employment, only to find that getting a job is near impossible. When the gates of an army recruitment center in Punjab opened one morning early last month, some 10,000 unemployed young men waiting outside rushed in. The stampede left two candidates dead.

• 2.5 million graduates join the workforce each year.
• 10% growth needed for the country to cope with growing workforce, but estimated growth is just 7%.
• IT firms pushing back and cutting down hiring of engineers, and cutting wages.
• 65,500 jobs lost as exporters suffer from recessions in the US and Europe.

Europe – From varsity to dole queue

(The newspaper showed) A student facing an anti-riot police officer during a protest in Athens last month. More than a quarter of Greece’s educated youth are unemployed. Those who can find jobs end up in menial positions. The Greek dilemma is shared across the continent, with no resolution in sight.

• 25% of educated youth unemployed in France, Germany, Italy, Spain and Greece.
• Trade unions protect benefits of existing workers – at expense of hiring new ones.
• Sub-standard and "innovative" degrees leave young graduates with few real options.
• Many graduates willing to work for free as interns to impress potential employers.
  Others head straight for the dole queue after graduation.

United States – Young adults losing out

The newspaper showed two pictures. A young woman holding a cardboard "Will Blog 4 Food." Another young man holding another cardboard "Unemploymentality"
20.6% unemployment rate for 16- to 19-years old in November 2008, up from 15.7% the previous year.

• 10.4% for 20-24 age group, up from 7.7%.
• 7.3% for 25-29 age group, up from 5%.
• 6.7% national unemployment rate – the highest in 15 years.
• 1.05 million jobs lost for 35-44 age group between September and November last year, compared to 2007.

I am quite saddened by this special report. The faces on the pictures are haunting. But what can we do? There are plenty. I remember in the book Life Matters, the authors shared why Work Matters. Here are the highlights:

"The truth is that no matter what we do, we only really learn how to work by working. If we know how to work, we have the foundational skill that will enable us to be successful in any job situation.

It is wonderful when children can take a sense of pride in their parents’ work. We may not have the most glamorous job on the planet, but we can teach our children the value of principles such as excellence, interdependence, and contribution. And if for any reason we don’t want our kids to know what we do, maybe we should question whether we should be doing it!
They need to learn that work is a principle. There is dignity in it. There is joy. The reality is that children are happier both now and as adults as they become competent and learn to contribute. As Albert Schweitzer noted, "Example is not the main thing in influence others. It is the only thing." If we want children to love their work – and we do – then we must learn to love ours. As we do, the tone of our comments about work changes, and that rising tide raises all the boats in the family, so to speak. There’s far less "woe is me!" and much more positive excitement about work in the family culture.
Always look for good and pass it on. When we contribute at work, when something happens that makes a difference, when the product or the service of the company improves quality of life for someone, share it! Talk about it. Celebrate it. We will feel good about it, and others in our family will feel good about it, too, as they better understand the meaning and value of the work we do. In order for our work to truly become our love made visible, we need to see work itself as the noble, edifying, character-building, family bonding principle it can be."

Let’s be mindful that work is a principle and especially in this troubled time of our life history, "Always make our contribution bigger than our reward."

Lucy